


a love breathing like a panic attack

by craftingdead



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Memory Loss, Miscommunication, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, the gangs all here!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 09:12:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18797356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/craftingdead/pseuds/craftingdead
Summary: Whenever Ghost sees him, she sighs.





	a love breathing like a panic attack

Whenever Ghost sees him, she sighs.

He is all she remembers, all pale skin and bright blue eyes and red attire—wait, no, he wears black. She’s never seen him wear red, she must’ve gotten him mixed up with Aaron. They do have the same hair color and, after a while, everything seems to get mixed up. But the only thing she never will forget is his name, “Zane.” It sounds strange on her tongue, a little sweet and a little sour, like the first bite of ice cream, like the beginning of a panic attack.

Everything about him is _perfect_ . His brown eyes and hair—wait, no, he has black hair and blue eyes. Idiot! Stop getting him mixed up with other people, he’s _Zane._ Ghost quietly chides herself, tucked away in the back of Kim’s mind. He’s her lover, despite how much he tries to deny it. She just knows it; she can tell in the way he walks.

His personality is even better. He’s so nerdy! It reminds her of herself, in a way, the way he would go on and on about books for hours—wait, no, Zane doesn’t do that. He’s brooding and edgy and likes stuff like ponies, or whatever it is. God. Fucking hell, Ghost!

Her eye twitches and Kim sneezes, rubbing at her own eye as well. She should take control so she can see what Zane is doing, where he is. She’s worried about him. What if he accidentally started a fire (and burned down a village) and hurt himself? Kim sneezes again and Ghost paces around in her own little space, worrying.

There’s just so many people who could take him away from her!

That girl Aphmau. Though, she’s married to that weird stranger who doesn’t like wearing shirts, only black jackets. Dammit, Ghost, not again! He’s the one in red. _Ugh._ Or he could take a liking to that witchy girl, Lucinda. Or that demon boy, Travis! Oh no, that would be terrible, he’s with Katelyn! Ghost should warn her about the possibilities!

Ghost is halfway out the door before she realizes and stops herself, Kim’s body slumping as she regains consciousness, blinking in alarm. Travis would never betray Katelyn. He’s too good for that. Either way, he knows better—she’s a punch, and wouldn’t hold back if he ever did something like that. She needs to stop coming to such outrageous conclusions such as that. Zane may be her lover, but she can’t be running after every person he so much as breathes the same air as.

She should probably apologize to Kim, for taking control like that. She could’ve done something regretful. But it’s all outta love, isn’t it? Everything she does to and for Zane it out of love because he is her husband, her one true love from all those years ago. If he were to die, Ghost doesn’t know what she would do! Because that turning feeling in her gut every time she sees him has to be the deepest of passions to make her want to faint and throw up.

If she could truly throw up.

* * *

Her Zane is getting… awfully close to that meif’wa maid girl. She frowns through Kim as she watches them; the girl, her tail twirling around her leg sheepishly and Zane, in one of his rare moods, actually looking happy for a change. She grits her teeth and Kim does too, both fists clenching, vision going to shades of fire and red.

She tries to sabotage their relationship again. And again. And again. Every attempt is foiled, all her plans brought down by the same people who were kind to her, who let her in. Maybe she should stop possessing Kim and find another host, a different host who Zane wouldn’t expect! Maybe that Aphmau girl. They were best friends—he wouldn’t say no to her, would he?

“Ghost,” Kim whispers under her breath, snapping her back to reality, “you can’t do that. You know that, right? Aphmau is too good for that. It would hurt Zane and Aaron and everybody involved. You can’t just go around ruining relationships out of jealousy, that isn’t something a good friend, a good _person,_ does.”

Ghost snorts. “You don’t know the first thing about being a good person,” she purrs, “you’re barely thirty! I’ve lived longer than you could count, deeper than you could love. You can’t stop me, no matter how hard you try.”

Both of them smile, in unison, and turn and look away from that pink meif’wa and her Zane, walking on weak legs away from the unfriendly and disgusting scene. It almost makes Ghost want to puke, looking at Zane! Like that, of course. “I can try,” Kim says. “I just don’t know if I could stop you.”

“Of course you can’t. I’m Ghost. Nobody can stop me, no matter how hard they try. I’m just that powerful.”

“Well, you don’t have to go bragging about it everywhere you go! Learn some modesty. Don’t they teach ghosts that in ghost school?”

* * *

 

Zane and that meif’wa girl are in love. She can feel it off of them, with the way he holds her as Lucinda struggles to bring Aphmau back. He is whispering something to Luci, but Ghost’s ears ring as she imagines him, cradling her, holding her, petting her ears and brushing her hair back. He doesn’t deserve her. He can’t fucking touch her, Ghost would kill him if he did that. Kawaii~Chan was too fucking good for him. She was perfect—kind, thoughtful, beautiful. And, either way, she was in love with Dante. That wasn’t fair to any of them. Lucinda should just let their Lord die. Zane would hurt her either way.

Wait, what is she saying? Zane is amazing! He’s her lover! She doesn’t want to look at him, doesn’t want to acknowledge he’s there, but he’s amazing. His blue eyes (brown eyes) and his black hair (brown hair) and his broodiness (and his charm and smarts). She loves him.

…Doesn’t she?

* * *

_Everything is on fire._

_And she screams as Zane pierces Kenmur’s body with his sword. He’s dead before his body can hit the ground, eyes wide open and dull, blood seeping out of him as Zane laughs, laughs, laughs, laughs, laughs, laughs_

_Dante screams and rushes him. Lucinda shows up to help. But she can’t hear either of them, can’t hear the bloodshed and the sound of metal on metal and Lucinda yelling out spells like her life depends on it because it does._

_She just cradles Kenmur’s body close to her own, sobbing and choking on her tears as his blood seeps out onto her shirt, onto her jacket, onto her skirt. (“Wake up Kenmur please, baby, just wake up and come back to me please Kenmur please wake up please wake up please I can’t do this without you I can’t I can’t I—”)_

* * *

She remembers and wonders why she ever loved Zane, at all.

* * *

He’s lying in a pool of water, coughing and sputtering as water escapes his lungs, water dribbling down his chin. Kim’s sympathy hits her like a truck and she growls and swings at it, punches at it, shoves it away screaming and crying out and calling it names. She wants it dead—she doesn’t want to feel sympathy for this man, for this murderer. He had no right to think she loved him. _He had no right to love Kawaii~Chan._

Kim is asking him if he’s alright, but she isn’t. Kim wants to reach out a hand to help him out, pump the water out of his lungs and try to access how bad the damage done to him is. “Ghost,” she whispers, reaches out a hand to her. “I need your help.”

Emmalyn thinks she should wrap her hands around his throat and watch as he chokes on his own spit and salty water.


End file.
